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i-am-a-fish:

highlycolored:

i-am-a-fish:

ask the lgbtree for wisdom

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lgbtree, why am i so gay?

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i-am-a-fish:

wellnothello:

i-am-a-fish:

Hey you bastard!

*starts cartwheeling towards you*

Hahahahahahah. What a huge Mistake you’ve made. Little do you know, as a child I was subjected to gargantuan barrels of fish being thrown at me by my stern mother. Every time I ate, actually. Being as slow as a below average human, I was never able to dodge. I am a prideful guy. I would not be subjected to this any longer. As the years went by, I trained myself in the art of jaw-opening. I’ve won several contests, including ones against snakes. I’ve eaten frogs, tires, shelves, small children, those spinny seats at the playground. All easy. My Mother Was No Different. Neither Are You. As your small, advanced-for-a-fish brain quickly figures out how another object tumbling toward me migh meet it’s fate, I will be ready, jaw down to my knees, eyes bulging, mouth watering, arms outstretched, waiting, waiting, for the fresh, unsalted, greatly welcomed taste of my newest victum.

uh hey buddy I was supposed to be the weird guy in this post

i-am-a-fish:

theinvisiblespoon:

i-am-a-fish:

they wouldn’t let me into the movie theater

why not?

you can’t take a snack into the movie theater ;)

the snack that smiles back

marvelruinedmyspirit:

When I first saw star wars vii i remember thinking how absurd it was that not even a century after the empire they’d let another fascist regime rise but you know what on second thought art imitates life

zombiekougra:

The reason hitler and nazism was ever able to rise to power was that every time hitler did something the us and other world powers were just like “come on hitler :/ that’s not cool :/” instead of acting immediately we ended up with an entire world war that resulted in the deaths of millions of people, mainly Jewish people

So no sitting idly by while another fucking nazi group goes around saying shit like “are Jews people?” And “do we need a black race?” Is not the fucking answer. Sometimes you gotta punch a nazi in the fucking face so their wimp ass will be too afraid to show themselves in public for the foreseeable future

  • person:

    do you have a tumblr

  • me:

    yes but tell me which of my traits led you to that conclusion so i can eliminate it

witchgems:

so i went to target earlier and i was looking through the men’s clothing section and was comparing two shirts and this woman came up to me and literally said  “oh, how nice! you must be shopping for your boyfriend”. and i, without thinking, replied: “nothing i do in life is ever for the sake of men”.